“It seems I am running out of words these days. I feel as if I am on a linguistic treadmill that has gradually but unmistakably increased its speed, so that no word I use to positively describe myself or my scholarly projects lasts for more that five seconds. I can no longer justify my presence in academia, for example, with words that exist in the English language. The moment I find some symbol of my presence in the rarefied halls of elite institutions, it gets stolen, co-opted, filled with negative meaning.”
~ Patricia Williams 1995
I came across this quote today as I was reading my book, Black Feminist Thought by Patricia Hill Collins. This best describes how I feel. I’m stuck at the fork in the road, this road is called Life Road(LOL). I’m trying to figure which path will be best for me but its hard to choose because I don’t know what lies down each path. I tried following the path that people said is best for you but you know what I realize I hated that path. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with where I ended up at following the safe path. This just isn’t me. I look back at all the choices I had made in my young 34 yrs and see that I played it safe because of that path of what is best for you. Now I can think of all the things I could have done or been if I just went with my first mind.
Now that I am older and a little more experienced with life I have come to see how blindly I was living. Now that I can see clearly I can make better choices for myself. The country is quick to sell you a dream or more like a nightmare. Now I know that the right path for me is the one that I will be making which will lead to a better me, a happier me.